literary insults

Writers can be so deliciously snarky:
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”  – Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” –  Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in  others.” – Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on  it?” – Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” –  Mae West “Some  cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” –  Groucho Marx

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”
He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

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0 Responses

  1. Don’t you just love to read great “cutting” remarks. There is something so…what is the word…delicious? No. Sublime? You know you want to say something, but, then manners get in the way.

    Sometimes one just wants to be like Mark Twain or Mae West or Winston Churchill. I usually think of a really great line after the fact. Perhaps I should get in touch with my inner Mae West or Dorothy Parker. Mae West had some really great lines and she didn’t give a damn.

  2. Don’t you just love to read great “cutting” remarks. There is something so…what is the word…delicious? No. Sublime? You know you want to say something, but, then manners get in the way.
    Sometimes one just wants to be like Mark Twain or Mae West or Winston Churchill. I usually think of a really great line after the fact. Perhaps I should get in touch with my inner Mae West or Dorothy Parker. Mae West had some really great lines and she didn’t give a damn.

  3. Delicious was the right word for these….I always imagine these quotes being said with a smile and slightly narrowed eyes. Ty for posting them!

  4. Delicious was the right word for these….I always imagine these quotes being said with a smile and slightly narrowed eyes. Ty for posting them!

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